We, the people of India, having solemnly resolved to constitute India into a subservient status-quoist communal autocratic monarchy and to secure to all its citizens:

injustice – social, economic and political;

intolerance – of thought, expression, belief, faith and worship;

inequality – of status and of opportunity;

and to promote among them all

antagonism

– assuring India remains a “poor” country forever;

in our sacred land of Gandhi this fourteenth day of February, 2014, do hereby adopt, enact and give to ourselves our “sahib”.

Go “anarchist” go! We don't deserve you!

We are “happy” that malnutrition is more common in India than in Sub-Saharan Africa, and that one in every three malnourished children in the world lives in India.

We are “happy” that every time India gathers international attention nowadays is only when a gang-rape takes place in our capital.

We are “happy” that almost 500,000 girls are lost to female foeticide every year in India and now we only have 914 girls per 1000 boys.

We are “happy” that India just about manages to be ranked under the top 100 countries in the Global Corruption Perceptions Index.

We are “happy” that our press and media is so “free” that India is ranked 140th out of 180 countries by Reporters Without Borders.

Go “anarchist” go! We don't deserve you!

So what you made an ex-commando, who valiantly fought for us during the Mumbai attacks, our representative. We are “happy” that our leaders who along with being super-rich also know how to pepper-spray.

So what you have given a subsidy of Rs 400 crores to the lower-income and most-in-need section of our society so that they can cope with the high-inflation. We are “happy” that the richest man in India enjoys a bonanza of Rs 54,000 crores at our cost.

So what you are the first one to dare and challenge the control that very-very-very rich man, the one who should not be named, holds over our political system. We are “happy” to be ruled by a man whom that very-very-very rich man wants to be seated in Delhi since few years now.

So what you are fighting to give us a piece of legislation - stalled for the last 40 years and even now when it has been passed has absolutely no teeth at all (apologises Kiranji), which might give our children a corruption-free India. We are “happy” to be ruled by a party whose list of “honest” politicians starts from past-presidents such as Gadkari, passes through the aya ram gaya rams such as Yeddyurappa, but doesn't end with Gujarat's very own Babu Bokhariya.

Go “anarchist” go! We don't deserve you!